Mr. Maru: How was the party Sparky?

Sparky: It was pretty good. Lots of people in one place makes me reserved.

Mr. Maru: Reserved? But, you are a really friendly person.

Sparky: I know, but in a crowd, I'm really reserved.

Mr. Maru: You mean shy?

Sparky: Mmm, I'm a little ashamed. I don't know if I'm shy or reserved.

Mr. Maru: You mean embarrassed?

Sparky: I give up.

What is the difference between shy and reserved? Today let's look at shy and reserved. Next week, we'll look at embarrassed and ashamed.

Shy

Merriam-Webster's Learner's Dictionary tells us 'shy' means 'feeling nervous and uncomfortable about meeting and talking to people'. You feel shy because of other people because you are a little scared of saying or doing something strange. Let's look at some examples:

When meeting his wife's parents for the first time, he was really shy. He was afraid of saying something strange or stupid.

A handsome guy bought her a beer at the bar. But she was too shy to talk to him. She wanted to say the best thing.

Reserved

'Reserved' can mean 'not showing your true emotions or feelings.' This word can be bad sounding, but it is usually neutral, not bad or good. It is used to describe a person's personality.

My father was a very reserved man. He never got really excited about his birthday or any other special occasion.

We also sometimes use it when there are strong emotions, but a person does not want to show emotion.

During his father's funeral, he was very reserved. He was very close to his dad, but he didn't want his sons to be scared.

ABC company was two months late delivering the boxes. But the buyer at company XYZ was reserved in the meeting with them. He didn't want to have a bad relationship with company ABC.

Warning: You can get shy. But, you can't get reserved. We usually say 'She was reserved.' or 'She is reserved.'

Do you understand? Let's take a quick personality test. Are you shy or reserved?

Situation 1 -

Your dog ran away. You didn't pass your test. You forgot your homework. It is time for class. There is a classroom full of people. The cutest girl/guy in class sits down in the seat next to your seat. How do you feel?

A) You are trying to not cry. You act very serious and formal. You study the textbook and don't look up.

B) You try to not look at the cute guy/girl. He/She looks at you. You feel a strange nervous feeling and can't talk.

C) You look at the cute guy/girl and ask them for their phone number. Then, smile and say something nice.

Situation 2 -

A co-worker needs help on a project. He asks you for help. You don't really like the co-worker. What do you do?

A) You act very formal and tell the co-worker that you can not help him. It is not allowed.

B) You think the project is way too difficult. If you help him, the project will fail. You tell him you are too busy.

C) You say YES! I love projects! Give me more work!

Situation 3 -

Your neighbor is having a big party next door. She didn't invite you. You can't sleep. What do you do?

A) Do nothing. The next time you see your neighbor, you have a short conversation but try to leave as soon as you can. You are really angry, but don't say anything. You live next door and don't want to have problems.

B) You sit in your house. You are very nervous. You are afraid of your neighbor. She might think you are boring if you complain about her. You want to impress her because you want to go to her next party.

C) You grab a bottle of wine from your cabinet and knock on her door. You walk into the party and say 'who wants a glass of wine?' You party all night and walk into work at 6am the next day.

If you answered all A's you are reserved. Relax! Take it easy and don't be afraid to show your emotions.

If you answered all B's you are shy. Be yourself. If you say something strange, it's okay. Strange people are cool.

If you answered all C's you are amazing! You will be successful, live long, and have lots of children. Enjoy life!

I hope you enjoyed this Teacher Stumpers. If you have a Stumper, send me an email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it I'll be happy to answer it for you.

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